First Cut Feedback

Today was the first cut deadline, 31st October. Our feedback would be recorded by our teacher and another group providing us constructive criticism on our positive and negative sides to our work so far.


The feedback is broken into different sections, targeting the main areas of camera work, mise en scene and editing. Here is the feedback we received;


Holding Shot Steady

• First zoom out shot on Ashley - re do without the camera jerk, or use montage to cover the unsteady look.

Framing a Shot

• Good shot to open with (close up of Ash)

Appropriate Material

• Use beat at start of the video to link to suitable visual.


• Corridor shot - emphasise that it is strange - use empty corridor twice


• Improve sots by hedge.


• Approaching pump house, interesting - develop this further.


• Ashley's house boring - change.


• Add shot (school) to blank sheet of paper (dinner table shot) - reference to the "streets" video.

Selecting Mise en Scene

• Good noir shadow as Ashley leaves bed.


• Pictures are good ideas, but don't come across them.


• Last shot - good however, perhaps cover Ash with the sheet.

Editing for Meaning

• Start the music after captions.


• Stress the drama of the eyes opening - sound effect beep.


• Sitting down at the table scene - cut out the empty chair part.


• Good transition to school corridor.


• Good effect - paring action with beat in music.

Varied Shot Transitions, Caption and Other FX

• Use reverse effect - Ash moving in one direction, other people moving backwards?


• Leaves falling upwards?

Use of Sound with Images/Editing

• Some good ideas

Overall Comment

"Good overall idea, but some shots lack impact - go for more strangeness/ weirdness, build up uncertainty in viewers - can they trust what they are feeling? Colour in last shot is good, use spot colour at other points".